Dear women of faith, sometimes husbands still walk away

It is good to align your life and actions with Biblical principles. It is good when a woman desires to love and nurture those in her household with the love of Christ. It is glorious when a woman, in a difficult marriage continues to have the attributes that we see in the Proverbs 31 woman. But truth be known, sometimes, husbands will still walk away, remain unsaved or harsh. Don’t let anyone shame you, blame you, condemn you, or judge you…you can’t control them or what they say either. Their words and actions hurt, but you can rise above them by understanding that THEY must not really get grace and God’s intimate, perfected love. If you lose your salvation because your marriage falls apart…or you are less spiritual because you’ve suffered divorce then we live under the shadow of a very shallow cross with limitations on redemption. Adding anything to JESUS SAVES, and the GOSPEL MESSAGE is adding something much like the “brood of vipers,” (Jesus’ words, not mine) attempted to do when they bore down heavy and unnecessary laws and burdens upon the people. This isn’t to say that we lead a life of self-gratification-pleasure-sin…on the contrary, our love for Christ should cause in us a desire to please Him.  But when life falls apart, marriage ends, vows are broken – it doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your ticket to salvation or intimacy with God. Yes, God hates divorce, yes, He hates all sin. But, really, to beat someone up emotionally and spiritually because of a broken wedding vow …especially when they were the spouse who tried so hard to hold on…well, it’s kinda like running over them with your revved-up super-spiritual pride mobile.

In all that we attempt in our lives – living out the fruits of the spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…we cannot control other human beings. We cannot shake them into redemption or repentance. We can love them, be an example to them and certainly pray for them. Therefore, sometimes a Godly woman will have a husband who walks away. Or, a couple that has tried in every way they can to raise a child to love Christ will have the ache of watching that ild make bad choices and walk the opposite way of faith.

All isn’t in vain, however, we are called to live out our faith – with action and peace. We do what we can and we trust God. Ultimately, we must have the constant realization that we are not in control…of much of anything in our life.  Though we desire a Godly husband, children and life, sometimes, others will disappoint and cause much chaos in our lives. Though we continue to walk as a virtuous woman…still sorrow will come.

All this is to say: The single most passionate pursuit of our life must be the pursuit of Christ. Of course we are to continue to be virtuous, loving, patient, prayerful –  but everything and everyone at some point in time on this earth will disappoint you. We are called to remain in the race, but we are to have our eyes on the finish line. Christ has actually called you to Him – without that – you wouldn’t, couldn’t know Him. So, as much as you may feel deserted, rejected and despised…the God of the Universe, the Creator of mankind and all that you see, the Judge over all, The Holy One who will endure forever…called you to Him because HE DESIRES A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU!

I wrote a blog post about my great-aunt Helen (A Virtuous Woman, Who Can Find). I spoke of her unique and enduring tenacity of faith. She suffered much – and most of it, to us, really didn’t make much sense. She lost a husband and two sons in great tragedies. Though her heart ached with sorrow – she pursued that ONE THING that would ultimately be the only thing that allows lasting peace. She pursued an intimate relationship with Christ.

For those of you who are battling hard things in your life – it doesn’t mean that your efforts are pointless and it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t care. You who are in the trenches right now, feeling so overrun with the trials of the world – but you do have the blessed opportunity to be the Helens’ of tomorrow. You sit in a place where others are watching – how you respond, how big you believe your God to be. My great-aunt Helen had a profound impact on those around her. She was the greatest living testament of God’s faithfulness to so many people. It wasn’t because her life was easy, but rather because her life was so very hard – but oh, how did she shine!

Pursue, with passion, your Savior, He longs to drench you with His peace.

Trust God with the depth of your circumstance.

Know that He is using you to be light to a dying and decaying world.

Rest in the fact that this trial, this hardship, even this life, will not last forever.

Live, don’t be afraid to enjoy life, a new beginning…open your hand up to something new of God.

And remember this: No matter if you are married, single, divorced, separated, widowed…God’s love for you does not change!

photo by: sujin jetkasettakorn

photo by: sujin jetkasettakorn





May friendship, encouragement and grace abound!