How Compromise and Laughter Help Save Your Marriage

My beloved father has been with His maker for well over a year now . My mom’s heart fiercely misses him but she’s got decades of memories to keep her company. Sharing today, a post I wrote the summer before he went home and the importance of compromise and laughter in your marriage.



My dad really did have a face and so does my mom.  But I love this picture, because I saw a lot of this growing up and even more in their old age..the back of mom’s head as she gave dad a smooch. I’ve never seen two people more in love with one another than my parents. It doesn’t mean they’ve never had a disagreement, never got frustrated or just down right mad but they have displayed consistent respect for each other like no other couple I know. My children say their absolute best example of a Godly marriage has been from these two.

If you were to ask them what their secret is regarding their enduring marriage I know they would say these two words, “compromise and laughter.” They would also talk about their faith. They wouldn’t explain some in depth, profound principles  of marriage. They wouldn’t talk about a particular Bible study or couples training they went through…no how-to book, or plan for longevity in a relationship. It wasn’t that they weren’t purposeful and proactive, its just that they knew the day they said “I do,” they meant it…for life.

If you never watched the video on my blog about God’s story of redemption in my and my husband’s life, then now would be a good time to do that. In the beginning I speak of something I learned from my mom – that sometimes, marriage is hard work and sometimes, you will even “feel” like running away. As a child I don’t recall hearing or seeing much in the way of arguing between my parents, it doesn’t mean it didn’t exist, they just seemed to be able to have those “discussions” out of our earshot.

Dad’s health is poor, we are grateful for each day that God gives us with him. He’s certain of where he’s going and he’s certain that there’s coming that day…when God is finished with him and takes him home. Still, the one thing that concerns him is his wife. All he’s concerned about is that she will be OK. Everything regarding goals, needs, household repairs and changes, money -is sifted through what will be best for her. All these years, we watched Dad be concerned  with his wife and we watched her show absolute respect for him.

It wasn’t a perfect marriage because that doesn’t exist. But they did the best they could with what they had. Quitting or giving up on the other was never a consideration. They’ve worked and toiled together for 62 years while always taking time out to play. That’s right, my parents played. They were hard working farmers but doing something fun and relaxing together has always been a priority. We discovered that about 10 years ago, one hot summer day after working in the field, they took liberty of being surrounded by fields and meadows. That beautiful farm pond look mighty inviting to these two newly weds of fifty years…so they did what any “young” and playful couple would do when they were secluded and needing relief from the heat….they went skinny dipping!

We need these examples in today’s world. We need to see people genuinely in love and not afraid to show the world that they appreciate their spouse. We need couples that will stay the course, even when its hard, even when they want to run away. We need for our children to see what God meant when he said that a man would leave his home and cleave to his wife.

I’m proud of  my parents who celebrated 62 years last January. They continue to enjoy every moment they have together cause Dad’s days are certainly limited and to be honest, we are all amazed that he’s still with us…he puts it bluntly, “God’s not finished with me yet.”

No one is more pleased with that statement than his beloved bride – but while she’s got him here beside her, you better believe that compromise and much laughter are part of every moment.










May friendship, encouragement and grace abound!