Why the woman who has suffered gets the suffering of others

I‘ve seen it so many times.

She’s known great anguish. And she can recognize deep sorrow in someone else.

She doesn’t have to be told. She doesn’t  have to know the story or background.

She knows what it is to be broken. Shattered. Buried under chaos.

She knows how it feels when dreams die.


And her sensitivity and compassion have been forged out of immense grief and trials.

She gets what it is to stand next to her baby’s coffin.

She knows how lonely it is when a husband ignores or held in bondage by his sin,

when he “finds” someone else…doesn’t come home.

She’s known incredible loss from so many different directions. It all seems to spin and tumble and be chaos all together.


She’s gets what it is to not trust, not expect…anything but more waves of sorrow.

She’s cried a million tears.

Prayed a thousand prayers.


She’s walked into church on Sunday morning without one single person asking how she is.

Sometimes, she’s walked into church without anyone saying one single word.

She gets the shame. She’s wanted to slide out the back…no one would notice anyway.

She gets what the downcast eyes mean. The heavy sighs.

She gets that her life is too much mess and yuck and wounds for most people. At least the faint of heart.

She knows how exhausting a special needs child can be. What it feels like to have YOUR child be the one who is called the “difficult” child.

She’s felt like she was on the outside, looking in…she didn’t fit in…at least that’s the message her hearts screams at her. That’s what the body language of others speaks to her.

She’s had the issues, problems, adversity, trials…things that no one has had answers for …

people didn’t know what to do.

So they did nothing.

They stopped listening.

They stopped asking.

And sometimes when someone did inquire…she was made to feel like someone’s project rather than a person…worthy of love, a listening ear, a true friend.

Give me a dozen of these women – who have been broken over a hundred who have never known sorrow.

I’ve seen it before…she recognizes wounds in another and most of the time – she responds with incredible sacrifice and compassion.

She’s been healed to serve.


And no matter how many times she’s been wounded, she is still willing to reach out to others who have been wearied and wounded…and she’s willing to take a risk, getting dirty with another person’s problems because she knows what it’s like to feel like the “dirty one,” And how many times were the issues she was fighting were no doing of her  own…it wasn’t wrong or bad choices.  It was simply life.

But she gets it and she’s willing to swoop down to those who are bent over cause she’s so been there when all you see is the floor – the defeat.

She’s been made into something so beautiful and effective and transparent.

She doesn’t have anything left to give but her own brokenness – but it is given with such sincerity.

She doesn’t have anything left to give or anything of worth…but she can give Jesus and that looks like someone who will swoop down to the lonely and the stooped over and the beaten down and meet them right where they are.

She has risen out of the ash heap of sorrow…

even though she doesn’t realize it…

She’s been made into something beautiful.

I have the immense delight through Bloom Ministries to see this incredible cycle over and over again. I saw it again tonight.

A woman, still grieving over the last two babies…who never came home, gave the last few baby things she had been holding onto…since she buried them. She really wanted to keep these things – they were a bittersweet reminder but she saw a need more than she worried about her own loss.

No one had to tell her. Explain to her.

She saw it, could hear it, could almost taste it…

this young woman, currently not with her husband, pregnant…has needs..

and they are beyond the practical – she needs to know someone cares, someone sees her and is willing to swoop down and meet her in the middle of her hard and lonely place.

God uses His people to meet needs. He uses His people to get dirty with someone’s problems.

He doesn’t send them away…so neither should we.

God doesn’t outsource compassion…

neither should we.

And I’d rather have a dozen broken women linking arms with me than a hundred who’ve never known struggle or sorrow.

I spend a lot of hours each week writing on this blog. But I spend just as much time with women – walking alongside of them, teaching, counseling, encouraging and equipping them to reach out to others. If you’d like to be a part of Bloom Ministries – if you want to start reaching out to others here’s how you can help:

  • Pray for us. My ministry partner, Lisa and myself are in the deep, dark trenches every single day with these beautiful sister we have the honor of serving.
  • Volunteer for Bloom – even if you aren’t in our area there are ways you can help us as we are continually reaching women all over the world.
  • Got a talent you want to share with us – we’d love to have you! We are all about women operating under their God-given talents, giftings and passions!
  • Give. We are a 501(c)3 non-profit. We are continually attempting to keep up with the demand for teaching, getting out resources and holding special and intimate events for some of our most wounded women. We also help with immediate needs as much as we can to women in crisis.
  • Share. We find that most women who are greatly struggling tend to keep to themselves. They aren’t likely to go announcing their deep sorrow and struggles. The more you share our ministry, the more we are able to be stumbled upon by women searching for help on social media. So share these postings and the feeds on the Bloom Ministry face book page and the Waiting for His Heart face book page.
  • Invite us to your church, event or retreat. Consider hosting a intimate retreat or gathering for women who need hope and fresh oil in your area. We work with churches and ministries all the time and are willing to do all that we can to bring encouragement anywhere the Lord will open the door!

Grace & Peace to you my friend,






May friendship, encouragement and grace abound!